Dark black feelings, emotions, thoughts. That’s the way of things. Hard to explain exactly why. Feelings of disappointment with my life and the way that things now are. I’ve let my life stagnant and fail. It’s my own fault for not being proactive. I’ve failed myself. And I’ve only myself to blame for that.

 We are together yet so far apart. Never do we go out together. Never do we cuddle. Hardly do we talk. He is never willing to help me with anything. Never willing to help me just because he cares. Always a battle for a little care. Why are we here together if he doesn’t care? I can’t get him to go. I know is not because he cares but because he thinks he has to and so he doesn’t have to pay for our son. He would rather endure an unloving relationship than to give me money.